And The Winner Is.....

On Tuesday, March 9th, just after dinner-time, a historic event happened. In the wake of awards season, after the fawning and fake smiles and industry back-slapping were over for another year, I tuned into the Sky Planner and.......watched the Oscars for the first time.

I don't know if it counts since I admittedly fast-forwarded all the breaks and dire links to the UK, and skipped to the categories (OK, celebrities) I wanted to see, and I didn't stay up all night when they were screened live, but still..... To be fair, who wants to sit and watch Claudia Winkleman yammer on to three "Oooh, it's them off the telly!" faces about who they think will win, when they have absolutely nothing to do with the awards, or in fact 'the movies', whatsoever. Call me a total philistine, and I'll probably get shot down by film snobs for saying this, but I haven't seen any foreign short films this year, so why shouldn't I skip the award? God bless the Ross then, for not only having Sky Movies (I don't...yet we have Sky Sports in my house...it's a huge bug-bear, don't get me started), but recording it for me too. I thought it'd be so exciting but really, star appearances aside, it was a long, dull affair, with too many poorly read autocues and cringe-worthy speeches. Alec Baldwin/Steve Martin as the hosts were just not funny, a few throwaway quips aside. It was like watching someone's tipsy dad make an extended wedding speech. Even George Clooney, who tries so hard wishing he were Cary Grant with his easy charm and demeanour, looked distinctly unimpressed.

All in all though, a good night for The Hurt Locker... Scooping Best Screenplay, Film, Director and a nomination for Best Actor. War films tend to kind of blend into one another for me; Buffalo Soldiers aside. And only because that was really, really funny. I haven't seen Hurt Locker, but I was pretty stoked it triumphed over Avatar. I haven't seen this either, admitedly, because my loathing of CGI won't let me... I can't imagine anything worse than sitting through 3 hours of self indulgent nonsense, without very much 'story' involved... snoooozzze. Plus, corny as it may be, it gave me a teeny bit of hope to see a female lifting Best Director. I hoped it'd have been me in my fertile little imagination, but hey, everyone remembers Buzz Aldrin, right? And George Harrison? And um...... emmm....

The icing on the back-slapping cake came with the nominations for Best Actor and Actress... a troupe of ex co-stars turning out in their Sunday best to waffle on about how great all the nominees were. I was totally stoked to see the Dude, Jeff Bridges, pick up Best Actor... having seen him in Crazy Heart, the award was totally well deserved. It proved that a great performance can lift even the most average, narratively-slight film into something far more watchable. Seeing Sandra Bullock lift the award for Best Actress was a bit of a left-field surprise, although I do think she's a good actress, even in fluffier romantic comedies (yes, I HAVE seen some!!!). I haven't seen The Blind Side, and to be honest I might wait for the DVD, but it was good to see the underdog in both categories get the top prize. Both acceptance speeches were pretty funny as well, rather than the usual "I'd just like to thank the Academy" sniffling and crying affairs.

I was a tad gutted poor Quentin "I've eaten the 1990s version of myself" Tarantino didn't get anything for Inglourious Basterds; for my money one of the best films of last year. Christoph Waltz's gong for Best Supporting Actor was a hugely promising start- Colonel Hans Landa has entered pretty highly on my list of Ultimate Film Bastards, joining high-profile characters like Alan Rickman as the Sheriff of Nottingham and Alan Rickman as Hans Gruber. OH! And Michael Madsen as Mr. Blonde. Even though the film didn't get any of the bigger awards, I was glad they honoured the right choice for Supporting Actor... Whatever came immediately after him got fast-forwarded, I'm slightly ashamed to say, but heeeeeey.... it's all about dreaming big, right? I loved UP and was again happy that it got Best Animated Picture, although I would have LOVED if Coraline had snuck up and pipped them to it...although in all fairness, Cars aside, nothing going up against Pixar really has that much of a chance, does it?

I don't feel as if I've missed out on not watching the Oscars before... I guess there's not much point unless you're staying up all night, and maybe if I'm off the next day I'll tune in for 2011. By the time I watched it, I'd seen most of the highlights on the news and in the papers anyway, so I wasn't seeing anything new. I didn't watch any of the red carpet "ohmygawd you look fabulous" shenanigans either... I can't walk in high heels and I feel like a polished turd/giant tranny whenever I put on something 'fancy' so I don't care about what famous people are wearing, really... If I'm ever in the position to be nominated for some kind of Awesomeness in Film-Making award, I plan on turning up in Converse and a tuxedo t-shirt. And the smart money wouldn't be on my chances of walking home with a shiny prize, but whether or not they pronounced my name right...